On her birthday last week, my daughter celebrated like any 25-year-old living at home with her parents during a pandemic might. I will now take your questions.

Q: How did she celebrate?

A: She taught my husband and me a card game, which is at least better than how we celebrated last year.

Q: What did you do last year?

A: We made soap.

Q: So, what card game did you learn?

A: It’s called Cards. Or in the original Spanish, Cartas. Jane learned it in Mexico.

Q: Wait. The card game is called Cards?

A: According to Jane, yes. According to the internet, it was invented in the mid-1800s in Latin America and is considered the father of modern rummy. According to my husband, rummy is more fun.

Q: You’re researching card game history these days?

A: Look, we’re in the third year of a pandemic, OK? We live for “Supernanny” reruns. At this point, Mexican card game research is the kind of activity that passes for an immersive cultural learning experience.

Q: What else did you learn?

A: When you invent one of your country’s first card games, OF COURSE you call it Cards. And OF COURSE, a card game from 1850 is not going to be as good as a card game today. I mean, who still uses their 1850 iPhone? People are always making things better. That is how life works!

Q: For example? 

A: Consider the pandemic.

Q: The pandemic?

A: Sure. When the pandemic started, it was like someone gave us all a new deck of cards with no instructions. No one knew what to do with them.

Q: Go on.

A: Pretty soon, scientists stepped in and taught us some rules. Stand six feet apart. Wear a mask. Disinfect your groceries.

Q: Oh yeah. What happened to that last one?

A: Ever heard of the Edsel?

Q: What’s your point?

A: My point is, with new things, you learn as you go. Some people played by science’s rules. Others made up their own. Either way, no one was having much fun. Then came Pandemic 2.0.

Q: Pandemic 2.0?

A: It was just like the original Pandemic, only with a vaccine. In card game vernacular, it’s like when the Mexican game of Cards evolved into rummy. Many people liked the rules of the new game better and happily played along. But other people, well, apparently some people just don’t like cards.   

Q: And now?

A: Now we’ve entered Pandemic 3.0: the Omicron edition. It’s like the fun, kid-friendly version of gin rummy that you’ve played over and over so many times that you’re frankly getting a little tired of it. But it’s still better than, you know, injecting horse dewormer.

Q: Will this game ever end?

A: Eventually, sure.

Q: But when?

A: That’s the wild card.

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Originally Appeared Here